As a pregnant person, you have a lot of soap boxes. There are all sorts of things that bother you and you feel very opinionated about. But there is something that has bothered me long before I was a crabby pregnant lady.
The use of the word blessed or blessing.
While we were dealing with infertility and the loss of a pregnancy, hearing people say that they were “blessed with children” would hurt. Did that mean if God never gave us children we wouldn’t be blessed? I don’t think so. Could it be that childless years and the struggle to have children in itself was a blessing? I believe it was.
Now that we have sweet Barrett on the way, and since I’ve worked in a field with children who have differing abilities, another phrase has started eating at me. “I am blessed with healthy children”. Does that mean that people who have children with struggles of different kinds don’t regard those children as a gift from God? I would venture to say that having a child in itself would drive you to the feet of the Savior, but on top of that add in a diagnosis that no one can give you answers to, and you feel even more helpless in the daunting task of parenting. I know that the parents I work with every day feel their child is a “blessing”, even if they aren’t “healthy”.
So do we use the word blessing in a wrong manner?
Matthew 5:3-11
Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
4 Blessed are those who mourn,
for they will be comforted.
5 Blessed are the meek,
for they will inherit the earth.
6 Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness,
for they will be filled.
7 Blessed are the merciful,
for they will be shown mercy.
8 Blessed are the pure in heart,
for they will see God.
9 Blessed are the peacemakers,
for they will be called children of God.
10 Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness,
for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
The above list of “blessed” people doesn’t sound to me like a life on easy street. It sounds like the pain, the struggle, the journey is the actual blessing, because it brings us closer to God.
So as I pray each day for Barrett, I don’t pray for his life to be free of pain. I pray that God will use his circumstances, whatever they may be to bring Him glory. I want God to use Barrett’s life to bring people to Jesus. I think that’s what every parent wants.
Take heart if you are going through difficult seasons. I believe that means you were chosen very special to bring glory to the Father through your situation.
Horatio Spafford lost his son in 1871 at the age of four. Later that year he lost his business to the Great Chicago Fire. In 1873 he lost all of his daughters when a ship they were in sank, leaving only his wife alive. He later wrote the well known song“It Is Well with My Soul”. One-hundred and forty years later, we still sing that song and the words are still so powerful. God used Horatio’s circumstances.
It Is Well With My Soul
When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Refrain:
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.
Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.
My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!
For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul.
But Lord, 'tis for Thee, for Thy coming we wait,
The sky, not the grave, is our goal;
Oh, trump of the angel! Oh, voice of the Lord!
Blessed hope, blessed rest of my soul.
And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.
Horatio Spafford
What a great post!
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about this very word this weekend. My church small group served lunch at the Jimmie Hale Mission. As we walked in the door, one of the men held it open for us. I asked how he was today and he replied, "blessed" with a huge smile.
If that doesn't put things in perspective, I don't know what does.
Thank you so much for this post! I've had some of these same thoughts about words and how we use them. Dealing with infertility, I can relate to what you're saying. I still feel blessed even though I don't have the blessing of children (yet). I love your comment about "take heart if you're going through difficult seasons and being chosen special by God to glorify Him through your situation." I needed that, and thank you for it. Your words and your story give me hope. P.S. You and I have mutual friends in common, and I started following your blog based on Rachel Olis' recommendation. I've noticed since then that we both comment on mutual friends on Facebook too. What a small world! :)
ReplyDeleteI love this post-- you are so right! All I want as a mom, regardless of whether my child is special needs or not, is for his life to be completely used for His glory. The journey is the blessing. Teaching my son about the Lord is about the most precious gift I have. Thank you-- and love you lots :)
ReplyDeleteYou inspire me!
ReplyDelete